Story of Recovery: Rigby

I was not baptized as a Baptist, but my parents enrolled me in a Baptist academy that believes in the "literal truth" of the Bible.

There were some times that we had to stop our work (classes are modular, where we were given these things called PACEs) to let the supervisor (the main teacher) deliver some speeches. She held a book, and she showed the page with Pagan symbols. She mentioned that religions using those symbols lead their adherents to hell. Some time after that, I checked that same book in the pastor's (who owns the school) house. It is even stated on that book that Catholics and Jesuits are not Christians, and they do some heinous crimes that's why they're condemned. Oh, the horror! I could not accept this, because my parents are Catholic.

Even the same pastor is fond of picketing. He sent spies to the local computer shop to check if their students (even there are no classes and they're not wearing uniforms) are playing some RPGs. If that is the case, the pastor would simply call their attention. Such meddling. Aside from that computer shop, spies were also sent to some fireworks stalls (during the New Year) and other "worldly" places.

He even preached "Santa Claus or Satan's Claws" during a service. He said that those who celebrate Christmas are hypocrites. I can't accept what he had said.

When I left that school, I began to see everything in black and white. I never knew what the folk dances of my country were, and what kinds of music are related to them. Even when attending a Catholic mass with my father, I still have my doubts.

It was when I'm in college that I started the search for which religion is fit for me. I'm still searching, even up to this moment. Ever since I started the search, I have changed my views on things like "Intelligent Design," which cannot be proven or disproved, hence, beyond the scope of science. Even some born-again Christians tried to evangelize me after one of them asked me about researching about Pagan religions. At first I was afraid, but I went to my guidance counselor. She told me that "there is no 'correct' religion, and Fundamentalists convert others so that they can have company."

I don't want to live in fear. I'm still recovering. Time will come that I can delete my old self and rebuild a new me.